respect

time passed and naisip ko...bakit nga ba ganun ang mga tao. if angry, sad or is feeling something na di normal---can think of anything or do anything na that person doesn't usually do. people have treated me badly before, have said bad things about me, have hurt me and offended me----even if they don't know the real me. Dati, i used to regret not doing anything about it. Even after a certain event i would tell myself, i should have fought and have defended myself back then. But thinking about it again today, i'm glad i never fought back. People can say anything they want. Yes, they have hurt you, but if you know for yourself that you can handle it, then don't mind them. In the end, it will be you who will live at peace, with no worries and all. We have different ways of handling anger and fear. This is how i handle mine. Through writing, as if i'm the bravest person ever. But in reality, the only word that i can say is that you are "bad", funny but it's true. Siguro kung kaya ko manakit ng tao, na sometimes how i wish i can, kahit through words lang, siguro matagal ko ng ginawa. Pero hindi ko magawa coz i was raised as a very sensitive person. Kahit ako, gusto ko intindihin ang lahat. Minsan may mga bagay lang talaga na di ko kaya... Have you ever been to a situation na pakiramdam mo niloko ka ng lahat ng tao na hindi ka na dapat magtiwala no matter what, well ako oo. To the point na lahat gusto ko idamay o kung minsan naman gusto ko isisi sa isang tao lang at saktan ko siya ng sobra...pero hindi ko magawa, or ayaw kong gawin. Kasi ano mapapala ko pagkatapos, ala. In the end magsisisi lang ako coz i know na hindi ako ganun at dapat di ko ginawa ang ganun sa iba. Mahirap ipilit ang bagay na hindi talaga meant for you. Dun pumapasok iyong ala ka na lang iba pwede gawin kundi respetuhin kung anuman ang gusto nung tao para konti lang ang masaktan. Yes i'm hurting right now and kahit alam mo how to ease this pain...if di mo magawa or ayaw mo talaga gawin, at least let me grieve...if you literally can't do anything about it, then let it be...just DON'T do anything na lang. if i want to hurt somebody, i have all the resources to do it but i don't even bother to...all i'm asking is a little respect...if i can't lean on your shoulder then let me cry on my own, i may have said bad things about somebody coz i'm feeling so down right now and you can't be there to make me feel good again, then just let me hurt myself...after all, saying bad things to others through this will only hurt Nanette Ortiz in the end, di ba.. Funny...how easy it is for others to hurt someone..how i wish i can't feel a thing, then maybe evrything will be alright...again.